Blogs and self-help guides

Well-being articles and tips

Welcome to my therapy blog, a space dedicated to supporting your personal development and overall well-being. Here, you’ll find a variety of articles and tips on topics such as journaling, self-care, and mental health. Whether you’re navigating student life, curious about online therapy, or seeking guidance on grief and bereavement support, this blog covers a range of helpful resources.

Explore sections on seasonal self-care, journaling prompts for well-being, guides for student-related challenges and information relating to grief. I also offer insight into therapy, including whether online sessions are a good fit and about speaking to a therapist is different to talking with a friend.

My goal is to provide you with practical tools and information to enhance your well-being, wherever you are on your journey.

Journaling guides and ideas

Journaling can be a powerful tool for navigating challenges, calming intense emotions, boosting self-awareness, and building resilience. Whether you're a seasoned journaler or just starting out, these blogs provide a variety of techniques, prompts, and creative ideas to enrich your journaling practice:

Well-being tips

For practical self-help articles aimed at enhancing your well-being, explore the following blogs. You'll find a variety of topics, including managing loneliness, the connection between nature and mental health, and handling anger. Each blog offers helpful self-care techniques, reflective questions, and effective coping strategies:

Students

Student life can be demanding at times. Whether you're currently at university or preparing to start your journey, these blogs might offer valuable insights. They explore common challenges, like procrastination and exam stress, and provide practical tips for navigating them:

Seasonal self-care

As seasons change and holidays approach, new challenges can arise. These blogs provide guidance, reflective exercises, and practical tips to help you maintain your well-being year-round:

Therapy FAQ blogs

These articles dive deeper into common questions you may have about counselling, offering more detailed insights than the FAQ page. Topics include deciding if online counselling is right for you, how therapy differs from talking to a friend, and more:

students, well-being Melanie Hudson students, well-being Melanie Hudson

Top Tips to overcome procrastination

Many of us, at times, will find ourselves putting off certain difficult or uncomfortable tasks. Just yesterday I found myself watching TV, surfing the internet, and tidying up. Instead of sorting out an increasingly growing pile of boring paperwork. Does this sound familiar?  

Procrastination is a common issue that many people experience to some extent. For some, procrastination is a minor distraction, but for others, it can be a major issue. Research by Professor Joseph Ferrari found that up to 20% of people can be seriously affected by it.

Chronic procrastination may cause major problems with a person’s education, career, and/or personal life.

This article discusses some of the causes of procrastination and offers tips to reduce the impact it has on your life.

How to stop procrastinating


At times, many of us find ourselves delaying challenging or uncomfortable tasks. Just yesterday, I caught myself watching TV, browsing the internet, and tidying up instead of addressing a mounting stack of mundane paperwork. Does this scenario sound familiar to you?

Procrastination is a common issue that affects many of us to varying degrees. While some may view it as a minor diversion, others find it to be a significant problem. Professor Joseph Ferrari's research reveals that:

Up to 20% of people can be seriously affected by procrastination.

Chronic procrastination often leads to complications with a person’s education, career, and/or personal life.

This article delves into the causes of procrastination and provides tips to reduce its impact on your life.

What is procrastination?

Procrastination refers to the act of delaying tasks in an attempt to avoid facing unpleasant thoughts or emotions.

Certain tasks may be perceived as boring, challenging, overwhelming, or trigger a fear of failing. Procrastination is often used as a means of attempting to protect the self from these kinds of emotions.  

What is the impact of procrastination?

The act of avoiding tasks to protect the self can lead to various issues, including:

  • Feelings of anxiety and panic;

  • Anger and frustration;

  • Self-criticism;

  • Difficulties concentrating;

  • Sleep issues;

  • Missed deadlines;

  • Work being left to the last minute and then rushed;

  • Problems become more severe by being avoided e.g. debt;

  • Relationship issues.

The ripple effect of procrastination can then increase the feelings you were trying to avoid, creating a harmful cycle.

Consider someone who’s grappling with a fear of failure. They sidestep a challenging task, which leads to a missed deadline and a heightened sense of inadequacy. To try and escape this cycle, they may resort to procrastination across other areas of their life that extend beyond work. Areas such as managing bills and addressing home repairs.


What causes procrastination?

Procrastination often stems from an underlying issue. Whilst causes may vary individually, certain common factors may include:

  • Depression - This can lead to diminished levels of motivation, trouble concentrating, and a lack of self-belief;

  • Perfectionism;

  • Low self-esteem;

  • Boredom - Some tasks are tedious or uninspiring;

  • Uncertainty of where to start - Confronting a complex or sizable task might feel overwhelming;

  • Lack of knowledge or information to do the task;

  • Environmental distractions- External factors like noise, interruptions or the lure of social media may disrupt focus;

  • Lack of time management - Tasks may lack prioritisation, your diary may be filled with unnecessary/unproductive tasks, or you may have taken on too many commitments;

  • Burnout - Resulting in reduced motivation, concentration and mood;

  • ADHD or ADD - Giving rise to challenges with initiating tasks, sustaining focus, planning and managing time.

  • News Exposure - News can serve as a distraction, leading to anxiety and reduced focus, which in turn encourages more news consumption as a way to avoid difficult feelings. This creates a cycle of procrastination, where keeping up with news becomes a way to delay important tasks while feeding stress and avoidance.

 

How to overcome procrastination


Find the root cause

If you find yourself caught up in procrastination, you might find it helpful to reflect on the following:

  • Emotions - What emotions arise when contemplating the task I'm procrastinating over?

  • Thoughts: What thoughts come to mind when I think about this task?

  • Behaviors: How does my procrastination manifest in my actions?

  • Consequences: What are the repercussions of delaying this task?

  • Potential Gains: Is there anything to be gained by avoiding procrastination in this instance?

  • Task Preparation: What resources or mindset do I need to initiate the task?

  • Past Successes: Reflect on instances where you’ve completed similar tasks in the past. What contributed to your success?

The use of journaling writing or speaking with a therapist can often be a useful resource for exploring the questions above.

Once you’ve gained more insight into what triggers your procrastination, you can seek solutions.


Depression

Depression may leave you feeling fatigued and a lack of motivation to engage with tasks. You might also experience brain fog and find it challenging to focus and think clearly.

When depressed, just getting out of bed might feel like an overwhelming effort. Never mind all the other day-to-day tasks, the to-do lists or other commitments.

If you find yourself struggling with depression that’s intertwined with procrastination, consider the following strategies:

Depression

If you’re depressed, you may find the following helps with procrastination:

  • Your GP - Book an appointment with your GP to discuss your depression;

  • Therapy - Engage with therapy sessions to address and work towards managing your symptoms;

  • Self-compassion - Practice offering kindness to yourself, just as you would do with someone you’re close to. Acknowledge the difficult time you’re going through and understand you may not be able to perform to your usual level or need a break;

  • Celebrate achievements - Recognise what you’ve achieved in relation to how you’re feeling. When you’re depressed, tasks like taking a shower can be a significant achievement;

  • Breakdown tasks - Break tasks into smaller more manageable segments. This may make the overall workload feel less daunting and easier to initiate.

Perfectionism

Perfectionism and procrastination often go hand in hand.

If you set yourself exceptionally high standards meeting these can be difficult, if not impossible. This can trigger a cascade of emotions such as inadequacy, shame, self-criticism, or frustration. That then results in procrastination.

For instance, if you complete a task but it hasn’t met your standards, it could trigger a sense of failure. In an attempt to avoid the fear of failing procrastination sets in. As a result, your quality of work may suffer, whether through rushed efforts, lack of focus, or missed deadlines. Which consequently intensifies feelings of failure and perpetuates the procrastination loop.

If you struggle with perfectionism you might find it helpful to:

  • Identify the Underlying Fear:

    • List the task you're delaying, such as writing an essay.

    • Note the fears associated with it, like the fear of judgment if the outcome doesn't meet high standards.

  • Evaluate Your Fears:

    • Assess how realistic these fears are. Imagine what a supportive friend might say about them.

  • Recognise Negative Consequences:

    • Document the adverse effects of perfectionism on your well-being and productivity.

  • Shift Focus to 'Satisfactory':

    • Rather than pursuing perfection, aim for a 'satisfactory' outcome. Define what 'satisfactory' looks like for the task at hand.

  • Set Realistic Goals:

    • Establish small, achievable goals that prioritise task completion over perfection.

  • Address Imposter Syndrome:

    • If imposter syndrome is intertwined with your perfectionism, explore additional resources that delve into this aspect.

  • Seek Professional Guidance:

    • Consider seeing a therapist to navigate and address perfectionism's impact on your mental well-being and productivity.

Boredom

Some things we need to do are boring or uninspiring. It’s challenging to find motivation with tasks that don’t interest us. Here are some suggestions for completing dull tasks:

  • Task Breakdown:

    • Break the task into smaller, more manageable sections;

  • Set goals:

    • Establish clear goals to provide you with direction and purpose;

  • Short Work Intervals:

    • Work for brief periods of time. This might make the task feel easier to start and help you to maintain focus;

  • Schedule breaks:

    • Regular breathers might break up the monotony of a boring task;

  • Reward milestones:

    • Create a system to reward yourself when you reach specific points in your tasks. This might add additional motivation and incentive to work towards your goal.

Not knowing where to start

Facing a large project or starting something new can feel confusing or overwhelming. Here are some suggestions for getting started:

  • Break the task into smaller sub-goals;

  • Set yourself a deadline for each sub-goal;

  • Focus on one goal at a time;

  • If a lack of information or knowledge is the problem, this is covered in the next section.

Lack of knowledge

If facing a task when you don’t have enough information or knowledge you’re not going to feel confident in starting it. You may want to consider seeking information from:

  • Peers, or friends;

  • Managers or teachers;

  • Experts in the field;

  • Books or trusted internet websites;

  • Enrolling on a course or pursuing a qualification.


Environmental distractions

Our surroundings can be a source of distractions that reduce productivity or contribute to procrastination:

  • The Internet - Working on a computer could lead to distractions through notifications, and gives easy access to social media, instant messenger, or emails. You might find it helpful to:

    • Turn off Wi-Fi and work offline when the internet is unnecessary;

    • Disable unnecessary notifications;

    • Install trusted software that limits your access to specific apps on your devices.

  • Interruptions from others - If you find interruptions from others make it difficult to work:

    • Explore options of working from a different location;

    • Consider adjusting your work hours when interruptions would be minimised;

    • Communicate clear boundaries with others to avoid being disturbed between certain times.

  • Temperature - Being too hot or too cold can be distracting and affect concentration. If adjusting the temperature isn’t readable you might want to:

    • Seek alternative locations you might be able to work from;

    • Layer your clothing or if possible use a desk fan.

  • Noise - Managing noise can be challenging, but some possible solutions may include:

    • Exploring alternative locations to work from;

    • Identify quieter times of the day for focused work;

    • Try noise-reducing or cancelling headphones or play non-distracting sounds through them.

Time management problems

If time management is an issue, you might want to try:

Goal Setting

For effective planning, here are some tips:

  • Clearly define your goal;

  • Break down tasks into manageable subgoals;

  • Be specific with these subgoals such as who, what, when, where and how;

  • Regularly review your goals to ensure they’re realistic;

  • Adjust your plan if circumstances change;

  • Monitor and evaluate your progress. You may need to make adjustments to timelines or tasks;

  • Share your goals with others (friends, family, colleagues) for support, encouragement and accountability;

  • Reward yourself for meeting specific subgoals to boost motivation and morale.

Prioritising work

Consider the following suggestions:

  • Write a list of all your tasks;

  • Assign a score between 1-10 to indicate their level of importance;

  • Rearrange the list in order of priority;

  • You might want to different lists for daily, weekly or monthly tasks;

  • Conduct regular reviews of these lists as your priorities may change over time.

Giving yourself enough time

Many people underestimate the time they need to allocate to a task. When creating a plan, consider allocating an extra 20% of your time to each task you’ve scheduled.

Reducing unnecessary tasks

It’s easy for our day to fill up with unnecessary activities. To tackle this you might want to:

  • Keep a detailed log of your activities over several days;

  • Review your log to identify if there’s a reoccurring pattern of unnecessary tasks;

  • Develop a plan of how you can reduce or eliminate these from your schedule. This could involve, delegating, learning to say no, and turning off unimportant notifications on devices.

News Exposure

Staying up-to-date with the news can be helpful for social interactions, informed decision-making, and fostering understanding. However, it can also become a source of anxiety and procrastination. To manage your news consumption, try these tips:

  • Turn off news notifications.

  • Unsubscribe from email updates that lead to endless news browsing.

  • Set time limits for news consumption, and consider using apps that restrict access to certain sites.

  • Curate your social media feeds to reduce the amount of news content you encounter.

Plan self-care

When life becomes hectic and stressful it’s common to overlook the importance of self-care. Burnout can lead to procrastination and reduced productivity. Incorporating breaks, setting task-related boundaries, and continuing to engage in activities that bring you relaxation and nourishment. Whilst you may feel you don’t have time for such activities, they often contribute to improved focus, productivity and mood.

 

Final Thoughts

Procrastination can stem from various causes. Identifying these causes and triggers is crucial for you to develop a strategy to minimise procrastination. Effective solutions include time management techniques, minimising distractions, and seeking assistance.

As a closing thought, it’s essential to recognise what you HAVE achieved.  Completing even a small part of a task signifies you’re making progress. It is easy to get caught up in focusing on what’s still outstanding at the expense of not recognising steps you’ve already taken.

I would suggest not only having a to-do list, but also a ‘have done’ list to celebrate your successes. In the words of Karen Lamb:

“A year from now you may wish you had started today.”

Counselling

Whether you’re seeking counselling for procrastination or to address other personal issues, I offer face-to-face, online and telephone sessions. Should you have any questions about therapy or wish to book an appointment, please reach out to me.

 

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