Starting therapy can feel daunting

You might have come across this page because you’re considering counselling but feel uncertain or anxious about taking that step to reach out. I can appreciate how challenging it can be from my own experience of accessing therapy. From choosing a therapist to making that initial contact and attending your first session, it can feel overwhelming and even a little scary.

I wanted to write this blog to share my own experience of starting therapy, so you can see the process I went through. While your journey might differ from mine, reading about others’ experiences can sometimes help make decisions or ease the nerves when starting something new. I also offer some tips, suggestions and information about taking those initial steps into therapy.

Finding a Counsellor

My first challenge in starting personal therapy was: "Who do I see?" A quick online search for counsellors brought up an overwhelming number of results. If you've done this yourself, you probably know exactly what I mean!

I didn’t know whether to pick someone based on their location, how friendly they looked in their photo, how qualified they were or some other factor.

If you are already feeling overwhelmed or struggling, it can take a huge effort to try and sift through the list and make a choice. Here are some considerations that may help you to narrow it down:

My first challenge in starting personal therapy was: "Who do I see?" A quick online search for counsellors brought up an overwhelming number of results. If you've done this yourself, you probably know exactly what I mean!

I wasn’t sure if I should choose someone based on their location, how friendly they looked in their photo, their qualifications, or another factor entirely. It’s tough to know where to start, especially if you’re already feeling overwhelmed. Here are a few tips that helped me narrow down my options:

• Check for Professional Memberships: Look for therapists who are members of recognised bodies such as BACP, NCPS, or UKCP. This ensures they meet qualification standards and follow a code of ethics.

• Make a List: Jot down the profiles that stand out to you and note what resonates with you, as well as anything that doesn’t. This can help clarify your thoughts and guide your decision.

• Consider Practicalities: Make sure the therapist offers appointments that fit your schedule, and decide whether you’d prefer online or face-to-face sessions.

• Trust Your Instincts: Listen to your gut feelings. Is there a particular therapist you feel drawn to? Often, your intuition can help guide your choice.

• Try Initial Sessions: If you’re torn between a few therapists, consider booking an initial session with each. This gives you a chance to experience their style and see if you feel comfortable and understood.

How do I make first contact?

After deciding on a therapist, my next concern was how to contact them. Should I call, email, or send a text? And what exactly should I say?

I realised I was overthinking it. I took a deep breath, picked up the phone, and left a voicemail with my details. When the counsellor called me back, I briefly mentioned that I was starting a counselling course and thought it would be beneficial to access therapy myself. We arranged an appointment, and that was it—no awkward questions or pressure to share too much right away.

Now, as an experienced accredited counsellor, I want to reassure you that there’s no right or wrong way to make that first contact. Many people reach out via email or a web form on my website, but voicemail or text is equally fine. Choose whatever method feels most comfortable for you.

As for what to say, it’s up to you. You could simply ask for more information, share a brief overview of your issue, or explain what you’re looking for in therapy. There’s no need to go into detail unless you want to.

The first session

Once I had booked my initial appointment, the next step was actually attending that first session. Naturally, I felt nervous. I had read the counsellor’s profile, but what would it be like to meet them in person? Would I connect with their style, and would I feel comfortable enough to share my personal experiences?

In my private counselling practice, I make it clear that there’s no obligation beyond the first session. If we are to work together, it’s important that you feel comfortable with me and that my approach suits you. If it doesn’t feel right, that’s completely okay. Everyone has different needs, and finding the right fit is important.

That first session can bring up a mix of emotions. Personally, I was excited about starting something that could benefit me, but also apprehensive about opening up to a stranger. I wasn’t sure how much to share or where to even begin.

Through training and experience as a therapist, I want to reassure you that there’s no right or wrong amount to share in the first session. Therapy is a process, and trust develops gradually. In my private practice, I aim to move at a pace that feels right for you. There’s no expectation that you dive straight into difficult emotions or experiences unless you feel ready. It’s perfectly fine to start with smaller issues or discuss how you’re feeling about the process itself.

If I ask a question that feels overwhelming or irrelevant, it’s absolutely okay to let me know. I’ll never be offended, as the goal is for you to feel comfortable and understood throughout your sessions.

I still remember feeling nervous before my first counselling session. But when I met my therapist, I felt reassured by his warmth and kindness. I went on to have further sessions with him. I feel grateful I was able to make those first steps of choosing a counsellor, making first contact and attending the first session.

If concerns or unanswered questions about therapy are stopping you from booking a session you might want to take a look at my FAQ page or contact me.

Final words

Starting counselling was an invaluable experience for me, both personally and professionally. If I had to highlight some key takeaways from my time in therapy, they would be:

• Personally: I gained greater self-awareness, clarity about the direction I wanted my life to take, and an increase in confidence and well-being.

• Professionally: It deepened my understanding of the courage it takes to start counselling and inspired me to pursue a career as a counsellor and therapist.

If you’re thinking about starting therapy, I hope this article has offered some reassurance and insight into what the process might look like. I also have an FAQ page with more detailed information about making contact and what to expect in the first session.

If you have any questions or feel anxious about starting therapy, please don’t hesitate to get in touch. I’m here to answer any questions and will do my best to help make the process as smooth and comfortable as possible.